I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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