I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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