just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
