goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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