Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
