My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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