sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
