Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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