Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
