he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
