I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
