I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
