I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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