he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
