Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Your cock deserves a montage
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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