It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
