I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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