does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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