please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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