capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
