Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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