real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Life is so much better after having sex.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I supernannyed him into submission
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
