thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize