she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
