is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize