I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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