I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
