I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
