so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
