Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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