Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
