FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she pinky promised me she was 18
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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