i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
