He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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