So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The air was thick with penises
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
