love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
