i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
