thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
