I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize