I wish i was in the wii world.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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