I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
