i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
