Its about making memories worth repressing
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
