yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
