I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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