just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
