I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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