just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
