im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
