wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
