The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
