I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize