you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
