I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
