I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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