She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
