Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
