She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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