Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
