the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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