Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
