I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
