It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
