Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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