it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Less talking, more tequila
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
