if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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